Today has not been the greatest day and the hubs and I are in the middle of some pretty big decisions; so, those weigh on me. It's scary, to be honest - making big decisions, that is. But at the same time, I am reminded of the fact that God is so kind and he has GREAT plans for our lives.
Great doesn't necessarily mean lots of money. Great doesn't necessarily mean easy or super fun and adventurous all the time. I think what it does mean is that God promises us growth, hope, and whatever is best for us. I've learned in my (almost) 25 years of life that what is best may not be what I want. But I've also learned that ultimately, the results of "best" is definitely what I want...so I can deal with the how to get to the result. I'm kind of just writing here to encourage myself - I need to be reminded of these things.
G and I wrote our own wedding vows. We both felt that we wanted something very personal and thought through, but also something that we really meant. I thought about what I was committing to, to make sure I was willing to do it (ha!) but also because I thought of Gordon and our relationship specifically. And he did the same.
You might wonder what that has to do with anything I just said - and with the way my brain seems to be working today, in the logical world, it may have nothing to do with all of that. But I find myself being encouraged and content remembering the vows we made to each other and the growth, hope, and whatever else is best for us that we are discovering, as we grow in fulfilling these vows.
I think a lot of people look at vows as a ball and chain, a burden, a "why would you do that?!" kind of thing. But we've only been married about three months now, and I am filled with hope (and gratitude for God, his scriptures, people that help us) as I see us learning and growing in how to be married and how to be a husband and a wife. I recently heard someone say that
a good marriage is not having as little "fights" (bumps, arguments disagreements...whatever you want to call them) as possible, but rather getting better and faster at resolving them. I loved that and have been so encouraged by it! :)
We didn't read our vows to each other before the wedding;
the ceremony was the first time we heard them. But we had them printed on a canvas for all our guests to sign at our wedding (my mom helped us do this so we didn't see them). I loved the idea of everyone acting as witnesses to what we were vowing on that day and to be able to remember them the rest of our lives. The canvas, with everyone's signatures, now hangs in our house. :)
I've had a number of requests to read a copy of our vows, so here they are. (Sorry for all the caps - I just copied and pasted from our canvas template.) And I hope my earlier ramblings make sense - in the midst of big life decisions, things don't always come out quite so clearly.
Love,
ef
Gordon's vows to me:
I VOW TO
BE A MAN THAT LOVES GOD WITH ALL MY HEART, TO BE FAITHFUL TO GOD, TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY WALK WITH GOD AND
TO PUT GOD FIRST. I VOW TO BE A MAN WHO WILL LOVE YOU THE WAY JESUS LOVED THE
CHURCH—SACRIFICIALLY AND WITH ALL OF MY HEART. I VOW TO BE FAITHFUL TO YOU MY ENTIRE LIFE, TO NEVER
LEAVE YOU, AND MAKE SURE YOU MAKE IT TO HEAVEN. I VOW TO NEVER
INTENTIONALLY HURT YOU, AND TO BE ONE IN OUR FIGHT AGAINST OUR COMMON ENEMY-
SATAN. I VOW TO CARE FOR YOU AND WORK HARD TO THE BEST
OF MY ABILITY TO PROVIDE FOR YOU AND OUR FUTURE FAMILY. I
VOW TO BE FAITHFUL TO YOU WITH
MY EYES, MY HEART AND MY ACTIONS, TO ALWAYS GET HELP
AND TO GROW. I VOW TO ALWAYS LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT,
THROUGH WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT US, TO BE A TEAM AND FACE IT TOGETHER. I VOW TO
STRIVE TO STAY EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED TO YOU. I VOW TO ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU, TO LISTEN TO YOU, TO LET YOU KNOW HOW
MUCH YOU ARE LOVED
BY ME AND HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME, AND FOR YOU TO BE MY BEST FRIEND FOR THE REST
OF MY LIFE.
I vow to whole HEARTILY love and follow God above all else, and above you, until
he returns or calls me home. I vow to stay faithful first to God and then to you –
with my heart, my eyes, and my actions. I vow to strive to follow you as the
church follows Christ. I vow to never
stop learning and growing as a follower of Jesus and in life itself. I
vow to be fun and spontaneous and try anything at least once. I vow to hug
you
and kiss you and hold
you as much as you need when you are hurting, when you are hard-pressed, when
you are happy, and when you are old. I vow to
follow you wherever God leads you - where
you go, I will go; where you stay, I will stay; and your people will
be my people. I VOW TO LOVE YOU FOREVER – THROUGH EVERY WONDERFUL AND
AMAZING MOMENT IN OUR LIFE, THROUGH EVERY CHALLENGING AND TEARFUL TIME; WHILE WE ARE
YOUNG, WHEN WE HAVE KIDS, AND IF
THERE’S EVER A TIME THAT I CAN’T REMEMBER WHO
YOU ARE OR YOU DON’T KNOW WHO I AM – I WILL STILL LOVE YOU. I WILL LOVE YOU
UNTIL WE ARE STANDING TOGETHER BLAMELESS BEFORE OUR LORD.
