Almost there

I really wanted to start this post with an update on my current situation and an alternative ending, but that would just be mean. So, here's the most recent update:


Last time I posted, it was Saturday, 22 January, and I was about to go to New York four days later to get my visa. I got there and talked to Rose, who informed me that I was most likely going to get it that Friday, 28 January. She had me a leave a money order so they could over night the visa. Friday morning, I get an email saying, "You can pick up your visa at 12pm today." Good news: I got the visa! "Got" as in "approved". Bad news: it was in New York City...and they wanted me to PICK IT UP. What?! After a series of emails and a dear friend in New York City going himself to the consulate, I was reassured that it would be in my hands the next Saturday, the 29th. Rose even called me a few hours later to confirm my address. Some alerts should have gone off in my head, when I realized that that phone call came at 5pm. Nonetheless, with shouts of joy, I immediately called my travel agent to inform her that I would have my visa the next day and could leave that night. She booked my flight and all was settled. 
But then it was Saturday. Noon came, then 2:30, then 4:10pm...exactly two hours before my flight was scheduled to leave. And did I have my visa?! No. Such a surprise, huh? I think a number of friends have started to believe that I'm not actually moving. I'm trying not follow in their steps. So now it is Sunday, and I am (still) sitting in Boston. 


To be honest, I didn't want to go to church today; I just didn't want to show my face again after having already said good bye five million times and announcing I was actually leaving that time, at least three times. I say that kind of laughing at myself and kind of serious. This whole thing has been exhausting. It's exhausting getting excited about something and then not getting it or having to postpone it. It's exhausting dealing with disappointment. It's exhausting explaining something to people over and over again. And I think that's true for everyone, regardless of the situation. Whether you are looking forward to a date with someone and then your date gets sick or a blizzard strikes that night (don't laugh - we've seen over 50 inches in Boston this month - that is totally possible); or, you're just really excited to go back and buy that fabulous dress you saw on sale three days ago at h&m, after agonizing over whether or not you should actually buy it, only to find out: they're sold out. Or whether you've been trying to get pregnant for a few years and your relatives keep asking you when you're going to be next, while holding your unbelievably adorable nephew. (This example isn't personal to my life, but I know many friends for whom it sadly is.) 


I also can just feel guilty for caring so much about this. I'm sure there is someone else out there, who if he or she was in the exact situation, would be totally fine - she wouldn't be crying about a missed flight and he wouldn't want to just hide in his apartment to avoid reality. But that's not me. And that's ok. I think the point of this is to learn not give into those emotions. Crying is fine, but I'm not going to wallow in self pity and I will enjoy the day. I've decided, undoubtedly, that I much rather be in a difficult situation and go through hard times and have a character with some gumption, than to always have things easy and have jello for an emotional and mental foundation. I think writing all this out, helps remind me of it all and make sure I'm actually living it out. (Btw, if you have a few extra minutes to read, I think my first post ever will be enlightening for understanding the general theme behind a lot of my writings: lemons.) 


Hopefully, I will have some very exciting news to report on tomorrow. In the mean time, get excited. I am. Really.

Joburg.

Cool.

Joburg soccer stadium