On our first anniversary

One year ago, on the seventh of December, that guy and I said, “I do”. We got all dressed up, signed some papers, took lots of pictures, danced, ate cake, and started a new life – our life. It was magical, it was a little scary, it was so exciting, and so fun. I actually say all the time that I wish we could do it all over again! Even after all the planning and preparation, it really was one of the most fun days ever. 

This past weekend, we went away to celebrate one year of being married. I still can't decide if it feels like we've been married for a year or if it feels like we just got married a few weeks ago. Either way, we have had a full and rich year, and I have never felt more content with my/our life and filled with hope and anticipation for the future. My husband is the best. I seriously don't know how I got so lucky. He has his flaws, like everyone (including myself), but he has been the leader this year in our little family of being selfless and forgiving. He truly sees and clings to what is good. He makes everything so fun! He loves God passionately and then loves me - so much. I love him so much more than I did a year ago and can't even imagine how our life will be filled with more love and joy, as it will over the next 10, 20, 50 years. 

After one year, I think I can say that I'm starting to find my feet in marriage. This first year married has been so happy, exciting, filled with so many firsts...really, a great, big adventure. We've done so many things in our first year: lots of movie nights (we really love movies), road trips, hikes, never-ending UNO games, intense air-hockey battles, afternoon walks holding hands, cross-continent flights, two [of our own] wedding receptions, concerts, musicals, picnics, random nights away (thanks to winning two radio contests!), dinners at home, dinners out, dinner with friends, walks with our son (Rolo - the basset hound...I really need to feature him more here), impromptu dance parties at home, hide-and-seek with Rolo in our little home, watching thunderstorms, snuggling on the couch while watching The Middle, Saturday morning strolls through local markets, holiday parties in our home, home made pizza nights, etc., etc., and etc. We also have had our share of bumps, miscommunications, and disagreements (often the latter two result in the first one). We have had to learn to calmly and fairly resolve conflict. We have had to learn to truly forgive and let go. When I think of themes to describe our year, I think of: deep love, grace, forgiveness, fun (having fun, as well as, making things light), holding onto the good, and learning. 

Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It is wonderful and amazing and magical, but it is also challenging and pushes you to grow in your character. I made a discovery in this first year about my thinking/beliefs (and I have a feeling I'm not the only one), that I think is the reason why marriage can seem startling. We are fed a lie our entire lives about what marriage should be: a fairytale, a super fun sleepover with your best friend every single day, full of red roses and romance, long walks on the beach holding hands, and dying together, old, in each others' arms. We are told that if the two of you are really meant for each other, everything will align and you will agree on everything and like the same things and travel the world together in complete and utter bliss. He will know what you are thinking and what you want without you saying anything. I think I also even fell into a bit of a romanticized version of conflict. You know in the movies...let's take The Notebook (which I love!), for example...the scene where Noah and Allie finally meet each other again, all grown up and with lots of life experience behind them? The tension has been building between the two of them and Noah takes Allie out on a romantic canoe ride. As they arrive back at the dock and the rain is pouring down on them, Allie finally yells out, "Why didn't you write me?!" She waited to hear from him for many years after their breakup (but her mom had been secretly kidnapping and hiding every letter) and was now angry that she was engaged to someone else as she realizes she still has feelings for Noah. (Don't worry, nothing even remotely similar to this has happened to us. ;) They yell at each other, chase each other down the dock in the pouring rain, and then passionately kiss and all is well again. I think this all occurs within approximately five minutes. 

Ha!

Now, before you think I'm a total cynic and Debbie-downer, I promise: I'm not. Marriage, to the right person (or if you work hard at), is all of those wonderful things and far more, often times. In all honesty, I have had more moments in this one year of my life than any other, where I wondered how it was possible to feel so happy and loved and in love, and that it could keep growing. But growing individually and as a couple can be challenging. Conflict is not romantic. It's not pretty, it's not fun, it hurts. Making changes in yourself (especially for someone else) is hard and often involves fighting every selfish fiber in your body that is pulling you the other direction. And when some of these things started to happen after the day we said, "I do", I panicked. I wondered what was wrong with me, or us. This is why you need great friends in your life, even after finding "the one".

There was not and is not anything wrong with us. We are completely normal. We did make the right decision - every day that we don't have a conflict (which is actually like 90% of the time) affirms this for me. I am so grateful for family and friends who reminded us (ok, well, more me) and almost taught me for the first time, that: every couple has conflict. It's getting better and faster at resolving it that makes your relationship better. As I have learned to understand that and embrace it, it has made every day (including the few days that irk me a bit more than others), far more wonderful. We are doing great. We have grown so much this first year, individually and as the Fultons; I am so eager to see what we will be, 50 years down the road. 

So, as we embark on the second year of our marriage, I suppose the lesson I've learned, that I hope can encourage you (whatever stage of relationship you are in - including not being in one) is that: you are normal. There is no recipe for success or a "happy" life; you make that for yourself. Conflict and challenges are normal. As the late Nelson Mandela said, "After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb." (More on Mandela to come.) Welcome the hills, embrace them, and learn from them. Life is far brighter when you do. 

Love,
EF

One year getaway. :)

  

Our wedding - getting ready

I should have posted these before the first look, but I wasn't thinking. Sorry. Either way, here are the before photos - the photos of us getting ready on the day. I love them all, but I really loved seeing the ones of G and the guys because I obviously had no clue what was going on with them on that day - it's so fun to see now.
I kind of wish we could do it all over again. :)

Enjoy!
EF

And the guys...

Isn't my husband so cute?!

Important, finishing touches.

Had to throw this in here - my handsome dad! :)

Oh, can we please do it all again?? Oh wait - yes we can! In July in the US! :)

Our wedding - first look

Well, our "first look" wasn't quite a "look". I wanted a picture before the wedding with both of us in it and holding hands, but without seeing each other. Our photographer searched the venue for the perfect spot and I loved what she came up with! It shows off the venue nicely, but mostly, it was one of my favorite moments of the day!
Gordon and I decided not to even talk throughout the day while we were getting ready and spending time with our bridal party, so it was so wonderful to just hold his hand for a minute and hear his voice. Reassuring, calming, exciting are all words that described the moment. We both said "I love you" a couple times and "see you soon!" It was the perfect thing to do just before walking down the isle. I love how the pictures capture the excitement and eagerness in our faces. Really, it was one of my favorite moments in the day.

Love,
e.f.

I love him. 

Our wedding - the details

I think it's time I start posting some of our wedding pictures! (I'm assuming you would like to see.) I'll be posting according to how our photographer listed/categorized the pictures - I think it gives a good feel of the wedding.

So today's feature: the details. These are the small touches we made to create our look and feel and to make the whole affair feel personal. We chose black and white as our colours; we wanted a very classic, timeless, almost 1940s kind of feel. Once we choose our venue, that really shaped everything. I think the black and white kept the 1940s feel but that's about it (ideas morphed as the planning continued); c'est la vie. Our venue was this place. We absolutely fell in love with it when we saw it! It is stunning. Classic but not old looking. Large enough for our guests, but it still felt intimate. We hired the whole place for our wedding which gave guests the opportunity to explore. It was the most beautiful day and the venue only enhanced that.

We kept the tables clean and simple: white table clothes, black napkins, white plates with black under plates, and our centerpieces (featured below). Our reception tables were set in three different areas that all connected with open doors - two lounges (living rooms) and the veranda. It kept everyone together but still gave each room a different feel.  

We accented each napkin with just a small piece of lace. 

For table numbers, I wrote each number on a wine label that was put on a bottle of red wine. Every number had a description to go with it; for example: "1 : The number of times we'll say I do" or "7 - Our anniversary".  We had to get really creative with some of the higher numbers. 

For our centerpieces, we found creme coloured (although they look really white in the picture) crepe-paper lanterns, that had charming vintage patterns on them. Each lantern was topped with three white Chrysanthemums, a bit of baby's breath, and surrounded by greenery. Also, each lantern had a small LED light hanging from the inside, so once evening came, they glowed. 

Again, because our venue was already so stunning, I wanted to keep all decor (including the flowers) simple, clean, and classic. For both the bridesmaids and bridal bouquets we used white Chrysanthemums, various colour roses, and something similar to baby's breath but I can't remember what it's called; the bridal bouquet was just a fuller version of the bridesmaids' bouquets. The stems of each bridesmaids' bouquet was wrapped in creme coloured ribbon, and the stems of my bouquet were covered in black ribbon. And I must mention: my mom and some friends did all the bouquets! It was such a fun and special afternoon, putting all these together. And it really didn't take that long (but if you want to do your own flowers, definitely have a couple people who know what they are doing).

Our programs were designed by my maid of honour and our petal cones were done by my mom and mother-in-law.

One of the details that I was (and still am) most excited about, and that really meant the most, was this. We had our vows printed on an A3 canvas (but we didn't see them before the wedding) and then had all our guests sign around them, like witnesses. We now have the canvas hanging in our living room! It is so moving to reread them often and to remember who all was with us on that day.

We also had a finger-print tree! My aunt surprised us and had this made for us. She sent it all the way from London!

Signs

Ok, this was totally a Pinterest idea. I saw it and loved it! And what made ours special was that my dad built it for us. 

Again, Pinterest. One of my bridesmaids who is very artistic wrote these for us. It is so great to involve lots of people in the preparations - it helps you and they feel loved! 

If you know anything about me, you will know that I have THE biggest sweet tooth in the world. (No, seriously. It's a bit of a problem.) So of course, we had to have a sweets bar! Another one my bridesmaids hand wrote these signs for us!  

Our cake topper: instead of a large cake to cut, we had a very large cupcake with white, buttercream, rose-patterned frosting. (All the guests also had cupcakes to eat.) Again, a bridesmaid made the topper for us. (I was so blessed to have such talented ladies surrounding me!) 

Lastly, the message my bridesmaids sent to Gordon just before the ceremony started. :)

Next up: Our "first look"!

Love,

e.f.