Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays! Wherever you find yourself this holiday season, here's to your days being filled with hope, joy, and contentment and a new year filled with excitement and growth! 

Lots of love from South Africa,

G&E and Rolo

In case you needed some reminding...

True Tales of Gumption - Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, Madiba of South Africa

Yesterday, the late president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, was laid to rest. I thought it only fitting to feature him as this week's true tale of gumption.

There is so much that I could try to say; so much that has already been said, about this incredible man who is one of the truest examples of gumption in history. Living in South Africa for three years makes his passing far more meaningful and emotional for me, than it probably ever would have been otherwise. He is an inspiring man who I still need to learn so much more about and from.

Rather than try to write something profound, I want to share a few things that, to me, display Mandela's triumphant gumption and that inspire me to live a courageous life. The below clip is from 1999. The artist is Johnny Clegg, who I have seen in concert a couple of times - which is a true South African experience. I love this video. I feel like I know Mandela a little more after watching it - his spirit, his joy, his contentment. I hope you enjoy it and feel that too.

Almost a week ago, on Tuesday, 10 December, the entire country of South Africa held a memorial service for Madiba. (Madiba means "father"; Mandela is the father of South Africa.) There was one main location, FNB Stadium in Soweto, which I am sure you either watched or saw clips or pictures from. Almost 100 dignitaries came from all over the world to honor Madiba. But many other stadiums around the country, from Johannesburg to Cape Town to Durban, participated as well by watching the memorial being held in Soweto and having there own tributes with song, dance, and words of remembrance.

On that day, my husband and I went to the Nelson Mandela Square which is just a few minutes from where we live. We had planned to watch the memorial there but the rain was relentless that day, so we watched some from home. The weather was extremely unusual for this time of year, but as the rain only got heavier and heavier as the day went on, it seemed quite appropriate as the whole nation mourned.

Have you read Mandela's book, Long Walk to Freedom? Or seen the new film, "Mandela", based on A Long Walk to Freedom? I have to confess: I have never finished Long Walk to Freedom. I feel a bit embarrassed now that I haven't, but more motivated to, after learning so much more about this incredible man in the past couple weeks. Husband and I went and saw the film yesterday - go see it. It is moving, inspiring, and challenging. I always knew Mandela advocated a peaceful and equal end to apartheid, but I had no idea how much that went against what so many people - especially black South Africans - wanted. Madiba is truly one of the greatest examples of gumption in my life.

And one last bit of wisdom from Madiba that sums up what I hope you often find, gumption and a full life, by coming back here to read:

Love,
EF

On our first anniversary

One year ago, on the seventh of December, that guy and I said, “I do”. We got all dressed up, signed some papers, took lots of pictures, danced, ate cake, and started a new life – our life. It was magical, it was a little scary, it was so exciting, and so fun. I actually say all the time that I wish we could do it all over again! Even after all the planning and preparation, it really was one of the most fun days ever. 

This past weekend, we went away to celebrate one year of being married. I still can't decide if it feels like we've been married for a year or if it feels like we just got married a few weeks ago. Either way, we have had a full and rich year, and I have never felt more content with my/our life and filled with hope and anticipation for the future. My husband is the best. I seriously don't know how I got so lucky. He has his flaws, like everyone (including myself), but he has been the leader this year in our little family of being selfless and forgiving. He truly sees and clings to what is good. He makes everything so fun! He loves God passionately and then loves me - so much. I love him so much more than I did a year ago and can't even imagine how our life will be filled with more love and joy, as it will over the next 10, 20, 50 years. 

After one year, I think I can say that I'm starting to find my feet in marriage. This first year married has been so happy, exciting, filled with so many firsts...really, a great, big adventure. We've done so many things in our first year: lots of movie nights (we really love movies), road trips, hikes, never-ending UNO games, intense air-hockey battles, afternoon walks holding hands, cross-continent flights, two [of our own] wedding receptions, concerts, musicals, picnics, random nights away (thanks to winning two radio contests!), dinners at home, dinners out, dinner with friends, walks with our son (Rolo - the basset hound...I really need to feature him more here), impromptu dance parties at home, hide-and-seek with Rolo in our little home, watching thunderstorms, snuggling on the couch while watching The Middle, Saturday morning strolls through local markets, holiday parties in our home, home made pizza nights, etc., etc., and etc. We also have had our share of bumps, miscommunications, and disagreements (often the latter two result in the first one). We have had to learn to calmly and fairly resolve conflict. We have had to learn to truly forgive and let go. When I think of themes to describe our year, I think of: deep love, grace, forgiveness, fun (having fun, as well as, making things light), holding onto the good, and learning. 

Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It is wonderful and amazing and magical, but it is also challenging and pushes you to grow in your character. I made a discovery in this first year about my thinking/beliefs (and I have a feeling I'm not the only one), that I think is the reason why marriage can seem startling. We are fed a lie our entire lives about what marriage should be: a fairytale, a super fun sleepover with your best friend every single day, full of red roses and romance, long walks on the beach holding hands, and dying together, old, in each others' arms. We are told that if the two of you are really meant for each other, everything will align and you will agree on everything and like the same things and travel the world together in complete and utter bliss. He will know what you are thinking and what you want without you saying anything. I think I also even fell into a bit of a romanticized version of conflict. You know in the movies...let's take The Notebook (which I love!), for example...the scene where Noah and Allie finally meet each other again, all grown up and with lots of life experience behind them? The tension has been building between the two of them and Noah takes Allie out on a romantic canoe ride. As they arrive back at the dock and the rain is pouring down on them, Allie finally yells out, "Why didn't you write me?!" She waited to hear from him for many years after their breakup (but her mom had been secretly kidnapping and hiding every letter) and was now angry that she was engaged to someone else as she realizes she still has feelings for Noah. (Don't worry, nothing even remotely similar to this has happened to us. ;) They yell at each other, chase each other down the dock in the pouring rain, and then passionately kiss and all is well again. I think this all occurs within approximately five minutes. 

Ha!

Now, before you think I'm a total cynic and Debbie-downer, I promise: I'm not. Marriage, to the right person (or if you work hard at), is all of those wonderful things and far more, often times. In all honesty, I have had more moments in this one year of my life than any other, where I wondered how it was possible to feel so happy and loved and in love, and that it could keep growing. But growing individually and as a couple can be challenging. Conflict is not romantic. It's not pretty, it's not fun, it hurts. Making changes in yourself (especially for someone else) is hard and often involves fighting every selfish fiber in your body that is pulling you the other direction. And when some of these things started to happen after the day we said, "I do", I panicked. I wondered what was wrong with me, or us. This is why you need great friends in your life, even after finding "the one".

There was not and is not anything wrong with us. We are completely normal. We did make the right decision - every day that we don't have a conflict (which is actually like 90% of the time) affirms this for me. I am so grateful for family and friends who reminded us (ok, well, more me) and almost taught me for the first time, that: every couple has conflict. It's getting better and faster at resolving it that makes your relationship better. As I have learned to understand that and embrace it, it has made every day (including the few days that irk me a bit more than others), far more wonderful. We are doing great. We have grown so much this first year, individually and as the Fultons; I am so eager to see what we will be, 50 years down the road. 

So, as we embark on the second year of our marriage, I suppose the lesson I've learned, that I hope can encourage you (whatever stage of relationship you are in - including not being in one) is that: you are normal. There is no recipe for success or a "happy" life; you make that for yourself. Conflict and challenges are normal. As the late Nelson Mandela said, "After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb." (More on Mandela to come.) Welcome the hills, embrace them, and learn from them. Life is far brighter when you do. 

Love,
EF

One year getaway. :)

  

Christmas cheer!

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend! Despite the fact that South Africa does not celebrate Thanksgiving, I was able to participate in turkey-laden festivities for three, blessed reasons:

1)      My husband appreciates and goes along with all my holiday activities (I’m a lucky girl),

2)      I have friends here – both American and South African – who wanted to create a full-fledged Thanksgiving meal,

3)      And I work at an American institution, so I got the whole Thanksgiving weekend off! Hooray!

Now that Thanksgiving is over, the Christmas season has officially begun! I have always been one of those “no-Christmas-music-before-Thanksgiving” people…although the longer I live abroad, the earlier and earlier that rule bends. But especially with living in a country that is in summer during Christmas, I try to work extra hard to make the season feel festive.

Christmas music (as previously mentioned) is a must. 

Especially George Winston and Frank Sinatra (among many others).

And embarrassingly, the Chipmunks are also a must. As a kid, my mom and I would bake and dance around the house to this album (can I even call it that?), so it's just kind of stuck with me. 

Snickerdoodles. And they must have red and green sprinkles. Must. (Sorry the picture isn't great...I made these for Thanksgiving and only took a picture on my phone to send to my mom. Please ignore the plastic wrap.)

Christmas movies. Where do I even begin?

I’m trying to do more crafty things this holiday season, a) because it’s cute and b) it saves money. I’ve already started putting this garland together (above) and it’s so fun!

Also necessary: Snuggling with family on the couch, reflecting on the year passing, praying for the year to come. 

What makes it feel like the holiday season for you? And if the holiday season is not a particularly festive time for you, or you are far away from family, how do you cope? I'd really love to hear.

Hoping you are filled with lots of joy and love,

EF

Some Pre-Thanksgiving Gratitude

Thanksgiving is in two days. (I never know if you’re technically supposed to count the day you’re in, but I don’t like doing that.) I don’t know if that came quickly or not. I guess it did when I think about the fact that this time last year, I was wrapping up last minute details for our wedding on the 7^th of December.

Last year, Thanksgiving came and went because we were so busy with our wedding. The year before that, some friends and I did celebrate; but every year (in South Africa), it’s hard to make Thanksgiving Day feel like Thanksgiving, and this year has felt the hardest. It’s hot here (we’re in summer), there’s very little holiday decorations, leaves are not changing colors, and pumpkin is very far from abundant here. But mostly, I’ve been missing my family, friends, and various aspects of the States more than normal, I think, so it feels better to not think about those things sometimes.

But then last night, as I was cutting red, yellow, and orange, paper leaves for a Thanksgiving celebration tomorrow night with friends, I suddenly really missed Thanksgiving. I missed celebrating it in cool weather; I missed decorating the house; I missed being festive. And then this morning, as I realized that I missed being grateful. Yes, there is a lot that I miss right now and it is totally a fact that I won’t be with certain people on Thursday or have a cold, cozy day full of pumpkin galore, but I have so much to be grateful for! And gratitude is truly mind changing.

So, I wanted to share just a few things that, at the moment, I am particularly grateful for. Wherever you are this week or on Thursday, I hope you see lots that you have to be thankful for and that it transforms your day.

Love,

EF

In no particular order…

- Technology. Lately, I am so aware that my life abroad...and specifically, my relationships...would be completely different (and difficult) without technology. Skype, Facetime, email, Facebook, Instagram, blogging, etc...it all comes from technology. I am so thankful for ability to get a hold of my family or friends (relatively) any time I want. AND for the ability to create holiday festivity through printable cut-outs found on Pinterest and to listen as much Christmas music as my heart can handle.

- My family. Sometimes the distance makes missing them feel like more than I can bare, but every text message, every Facetime session, every email makes that distance a little bit smaller.

- My husband. I'm so thankful that he makes me feel so loved. And that he just listens and hugs me when I cry and miss home. And that he happily and eagerly participates in my festive activities. And that he eats my baked goods. And that he has worked so hard and has now finished his law degree!! (He's been done for a week now but we're still revelling in the joy of the end.)

- Music. I'm thankful that I can pretty much listen to it anywhere at any time and that it lifts my soul. And I'm thankful that I have working ears to hear it with.

- I'm thankful for my in-laws who have completely pulled me into their family for (more than) the past year and who have planned a wonderful, Christmas holiday for all of us!

- I'm thankful that I get to celebrate Thanksgiving twice this year! With a dinner tomorrow night and Thursday night.

- And I'm very grateful that I since I now work an American institution, I get Thursday and Friday off! :)

Happy Early Thanksgiving, everyone! :)

True Tales of Gumption - the first installment!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I am so excited to introduce a new feature to the blog!

This quote encompasses so much of why I started this blog. I’m sure many of you have heard this quote from Marianne Williamson before. It is possibly my most favorite, inspirational quote (aside from anything in the bible). I think that often is our biggest fear: ourselves and the great things we can/could do. It takes courage and confidence to see your talents, skills, gifts…and to admit what you really enjoy in life…and pursue it. And not just pursue it but give it everything you’ve got. Although I’ve learned lots in this regard over the past few years, I’m still trying to figure these out myself. Sometimes I think the hard work required to get the job/life you want is half of what is so intimating. Hard work and fear of not being good enough – big life traps. But that is why I love the new feature: True Tales of Gumption.

True Tales of Gumption will be a feature that highlights someone who has shown true gumption in their life. Our news is so filled with the negative and with stories of people who are everything that is the opposite of courageous, bold, or inspiring. So, each feature will introduce a real-life story of someone who has shown some of those qualities in their life.

Today's story comes from my side of the world. With all the negative attention Africa receives, I believe it so important to highlight the good and amazing things going on in the continent of Africa. This story is especially inspiring because it is one of the many examples of someone who doesn’t have much, butdoesn’t make excuses or play the victim. (How easily I can do that, when I do have so much!): It is the story of Kelvin Doe from Sierra Leone. I hope you are moved and inspired by his passion, talent, compassion, and vision!

Love,

EF