Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I'll try to write with more of a purpose from now on.

12:08pm, Main reading room of the Jefferson building of the Library of Congress

I have been waiting for International Business Scholarship for almost an hour and half now. It really makes me feel like the living definition of the word “nooser”. I made that up; loser and nerd combined. At least I can say it’s for work, which also makes sitting here a bitter/sweet thing because I have nothing to do but sit on Facebook, read Julie & Julia (my charming and hilarious new read!), and watch tourists stare at the reading room from a glass, cage-like enclosure, noses squished against the probably already greasy and hot breath-germ infested panels – and feel guilty that I’m not doing anything productive. Oh well. I guess a day or two like this for internship is ok? The more pressing reason as to why I’m beginning to get frustrated and grow frost on my arms (from the ice-box that is the reading room), is that I’m hungry! And hunger makes you do and think about all sorts of weird things.
This will probably be my most scattered and pointless blog to date – of all the four or five entries. I always think of things throughout the day to comment on and write about, but by the time I get home from work, I’m tired and don’t want to do it. I know, those of you with real jobs are probably scoffing at claimed misfortune, but indulge me – I’ll deal with this growing up, not having time for more and more, getting less and less sleep as I go.
#1. Today is my seven year spiritual birthday. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I like to call it my seven year anniversary [to God]. Seven years ago today, I was baptized, had my sins forgiven, and as Isaiah 54:10 and Ephesians 5:26 describe, married God. And now I’m going to heaven. Sounds much more whimsical and romantic than its daily implications, but when you think about it, it really is. Whatever we “go through” or “sacrifice” in our 70/80 years on earth is such a steal for the ETERNITY we get to spend in heaven. It doesn’t always seem or feel that way, but I think we have to work on our perspective more so we can see it that way.
(Ok, I am just about through waiting for this book! And I bet you it won’t have anything I need in it. I think the portly gentleman at the desk diagonal to me is looking for some kind of snarling animal behind him, mistaking my stomach rumblings for a growl.)
#2. What is it that makes people want to keep everyone else updated on every event, lose shoe lace, stubbed toe, or personal antidote from their life? I wonder this as I have become one of those people – I have a blog. – and am reading Julie & Julia which is about a woman who needs something to do in and with her life so starts a cooking blog. And I love reading it! (I also love cooking but that’s beside the point here.) And since the summer provides an over abundance of time to mindlessly read people’s status on Facebook, and Twitter has become the new rage, it is just amazing to me that people love…what is it that they love? Communication? Attention? (And not in a vain, conceited way. People just like to feel valued.) I don’t know what it is. As I am getting older, which I know I always say I feel funny saying but it is just a fact – am undoubtedly getting older every second – I can see that people really do want and need things to occupy themselves and feel involved. I guess up until college, you don’t really have to work to find those things. But as I am slowly merging into the real world (not the nostalgic word of academia and summers) I see more how people need purpose. You go to work and then what? In school the line between “work” and “life” is so blurred, that it’s easy to think you know what you’re all about and would do if you had more time – which in and of itself is a contradiction because although I often feel that same way, tis’ true we’ll probably never have more free time than in college (except when you retire – one of the stages of life I am most looking forward to!) – but then you leave work at work and come home and actually have time with no required reading or papers or word problems. (The book finally came! Yay, now I can affirm that it doesn’t have what I need and I wasted two hours and can finally go eat!) That free time is wonderful – just a curious thing, though.
I know I have more comments on life, etc., that for some reason you all want to read, but am going to get out of here as quickly as possible!

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